Love Bug!

I hope you’re having a good first day of boot camp. Well as good as it can be…I know they are already pushing you to your limits, but hopefully, this letter makes you feel better if you’re feeling down or even better if you’re feeling positive. This letter might not be as mushy as you think because it is for English class but I still feel like it’s very relevant to us. Hopefully, this letter will motivate you in the next chapters of your life because reflecting on this assignment and my theory of writing has motivated me. I’ll explain more about this new found motivation later.

What is a theory of writing? It’s basically what one person feels is the most important part for them when it comes to composing a piece of literature. Some may feel like language, genre, organization or even research is the most important part of the writing process. Making those examples their theory of writing. When I started my English class this semester I felt like my theory of writing was organization. You know how much I love to stay organized so just imagine the intricate color-coded outlines I would make for essays. I felt like and still believe that a great writing piece is meticulously thought out and organized before being written. Without proper organization and planning any piece of writing, no matter how well researched or creative, can come off as weak and unfinished due to its lack of cohesion and explanation of thoughts. This is why I believe organizing and planning any piece of writing is important and would advise you strongly to create better outlines mister. But that’s beside the point…

Even after I create very organized and thought out outlines for my essays some still didn’t satisfy my expectations or even worse were never completed. The first essay I wrote for my English class was called a Source-Based Essay. Even though I planned out that essay and did in-depth research I still feel like the essay is disorganized and unfinished with a weak conclusion. Why could this be? I feel like the finished piece is bad because I was focused on just completing the assignment and giving in something. Even for my English research paper, the Inquiry-Based Essay, I did what I usually do. I did my research, which I really enjoyed because this topic holds my interest, and then created an outline and organized all my ideas so that I could easily complete my paper. However, I felt like and still feel like it was impossible to complete. In both pieces, I kept organized and still, I had trouble completing them. I wrote several papers I was proud of last semester, so why was this semester giving me writer’s block?

I did have a lot going on and still happening as you know because you’re one of those things. But that does not explain why I couldn’t transform an in-depth outline of a paper into a finished piece I could be proud of. This lack of being able to convert my outlines into essays either created a disappointment or was never finished. And in this case, each assignment I wrote for English class suffered more because of this. However, as I reflect on these past essays and what might have changed from last semester to this one I was able to develop my new theory of writing.

In all honesty, after finishing this semester, I feel like my theory of writing revolves around motivation. I know you would agree with me on that note. You hated writing because it either was about something that didn’t interest you or because you lacked the motivation to complete something that you were proud of. We continue to have too many similarities. I remember I used to tell you that interest and motivation didn’t matter. I advised you to just do what you had to do to pass. I take back that statement now and admire you for continuing to stay true to yourself in what you are willing to do. You always did what was true to your interests and I’m proud of you for that.  The reason I completed passed assignments with ease was because not only would I organize the work and was interested in it, but I also wanted to make myself proud and I wanted to make you proud. I feel like when I lose sight of why I’m doing this I end up losing my motivation and creating mediocre work.

I feel like the more motivated I am to do writing assignments the better it comes out to be. If I’m fired up throughout the whole process the research I will do will be in depth and the composition of it would be cohesive, flowy, and thoughtful. Reflecting on all the issues I faced this semester and the mentality I had and how it changed from last semester really made me realize what my theory of writing is. Last semester I was so focused on my work because I wanted to improve for you but mostly show myself that after taking a gap year I was still capable of being academically successful. As you know, because I was so happy about it, I got two A’s last semester and my GPA went to a 3.2 after my 2.6 in art school. I showed myself that I could do school and work and make something of myself. This semester I came in with the same mindset but quickly lost sight of why I was there in the mix of you leaving, my dad’s surgery, and trying to make enough money to not live in a cardboard box. With you gone I am fired up all over again and angry that I lost sight of why I want to excel in school. You’re going to be working so hard and I want to be right there behind you. I need to work on myself and improve to reach the end goal you want for both of us. I know you don’t care about me being successful but I feel like I can’t just slack off as your working your ass off to support the people you love.

I can not rightfully say that  I have mastered the art of staying driven throughout a writing assignment but I’ve learned a lot this semester about staying driven to do my best which has some relation to you and my classes overall. In terms of implementing a way to stay motivated to write essays that’s something, we both struggle with. Overall I just have to remember why I am sitting there in the classroom or why I enrolled in college. Make the writing not about the grades or the teacher but about me and you. Make it about our future and the benefits we’ll get from my contribution to our hard work. I have to ground myself in hard times and push myself to get through it because, in the end, the teacher is just a teacher, my situation is not permanent, you can make anything out of your situation.

After boot camp, you’re going to go to tech school and will be taking many classes to prepare you for your future career. I’m not sure if you will complete writing assignments in those courses, but if so hopefully this explanation of my theory of writing will help you stay driven to not only complete but also ace those assignments. If not, hopefully, this letter serves as a way to keep you motivated now during basic military training and later during tech school. The key to staying motivated is to just focus on why you went there in the first place. What is your end goal or bigger picture for your life? Remain focused and know that you are loved and I’m sure that these 2 hard months will go a little faster. This letter sure as hell has motivated me to not only improve my writing but to improve in school overall, not only for me but for us.

I love you baby,

Ebi

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